Both a Blessing + A Curse
I felt I needed to take a much needed moment out of my day to thank each and everyone of you for the outpouring of support. I am so overwhelmed with the response my last post got and the discussions I have had. It's amazing that so many women have reached out to me with stories of infertility, endometriosis, PCOS, struggle and immense strength. I think its a beautiful thing that something that truth be told, sucks pretty bad, has women speaking up and owning whats happening to them. One of the things that I have always strived to be on this blog and in life is totally authentic and honest, showing up as the real raw me. Which can be pretty scary. But I feel so blessed and ultra connected to all of you more than ever.
Since that blog post, I've been focusing my attention of healing my thought processes and limiting beliefs. I've been stepping into a very feminine routine and researching alternative therapies. But I have also been researching the biomedical models solutions for me - surgery, medications, etc. And I wanted to make something very clear - I will ALWAYS try the alternative health routes first and continue with them even when my body needs a little help from western medicine. But there is a time and a place for both routes.
Luckily, I have an abundance of tools in my holistic health toolkit to support me in this, a girl tribe so strong and loving I couldn't have ever imagined being so lucky, a supportive man that cracks jokes to make me feel better, loves me fully and never questions our ability to have children in the future (I particularly love his jokes about us having twins and how he will dress them up in cute little 50's style outfits to go to the park, sigh), parents that are routing for me (my mom is being a super star and helping with doctors appointments and keeping me sane), and a community of beautiful souls that really shine.
So I'm choosing to see this disease as both a blessing and a curse - a blessing because it reminds me of the beauty that is life and the true blessings I have in the people that fill my life, a blessing because it allows me to connect to a higher power and purpose and share a journey in a much different way, and a curse because well it kinda blows. But I refuse to see only the negative side of this, and I'm going to focus on the positive (thanks to wonderful advice from all of you + friends).
So here is a little bit of what I have been doing to support my body and remind myself that I am a beautiful, feminine and strong person. I've actually been pointed in the direction of quite a few celebs who have endometriosis and I found that the things they have said are SO what I'm feeling. So here's a few:
This blurb from Jaime King from Hart of Dixie (I love her).
Louise Redknapp said: "Finding out you can't have children takes a bit of your femininity away. It's an odd feeling, like you've completely under-achieved, which is not what I'm good at dealing with". I REALLY get what she's feeling here. You kinda feel like you've failed when someone tells you you may not be able to do something, that as a woman, is what you are "supposed to do" (or in my case, want to be able to do).
Others: Lena Dunham, who speaks out about it openly, Daisy Ridley from Star Wars, Jenny McCarthy, the list went on and on. It actually shocks me how many women suffer from it. It is definitely a disease with a genetic component, but I truly believe that all of the hormonal and reproductive health issues we are seeing increases in have huge roots in our environment, the crap we put on our skin, the food we eat, and the air we breathe. It begs the question: what do we need to change?
So as I said, I'm dialing up the feminine with essential oils, slow yoga, lots of sleep + tons of hydration. I'm loving ylang ylang, geranium, lavender, sandalwood, rose (loads of floral scents) in my hair, on my pulse points, in the diffuser, in my baths. Focusing on nutrient dense foods, lots of healthy fats, studying the chakras and foods to balance them, and reading a LOAD of books. On the docket:
Endometriosis: A Key to Healing and Fertility Through Nutrition
Loving Yourself to Great Health
The Infertility Cure
Taking Charge of your Fertility
What to Expect Before You're Expecting
And taking suggestions.
Much love + hugs,