Changling

I realize it's been a while since I've posted and that is largely due to a LOT of life changes, adjustments and acceptance. When I last wrote you all I had just been diagnosed with endometriosis and adenomyosis, of which I later found out was stage 2 and stage 1 respectively (a much better prognosis than originally thought - for now). I had suffered through a 76 day menstrual cycle, where I bled for over 35 days - not even kidding. Well this news was anything but joyous and brought about a few life changes. My future hubs and I moved our little family (us + the dogs) out of the country and back into my parents house for the time being to not only save money, be closer to doctors and other practitioners, have family support, reduce stress, but to really be able to work towards our joint goals for our life together.

All in all it has been a busy transition. I commuted to London from Hamilton for almost three weeks before transferring to my new store, which often meant four hours in a car. We lived on take out during this time. All of our little things that made our home OUR home were not here, and the dogs were stressed out to the max with the change in scenery. But now that we have settled in, things are beginning to calm down and have a natural rhythm.

Since moving and being diagnosed, a few things have changed and I made a few decisions to help me get on track for a healthy cycle and a successful life:

I'm taking a year off from university. This was one of those decisions that was extremely hard. I'm almost done. F wants to go back to school or join the navy. Money. Delays. Fear of me not going back. There was a LOT of worry and fear. But to me, the decision came from the diagnosis and realizing that if I so much as miss three weeks for any surgery I will be so far behind that I would probably waste a semester (from past experience .. remember that broken hand). I also didn't want to waste another $10,000 for a year of school when I knew I would be stressed, adjusting and probably in more pain. I already miss time from work and school due to the pain I feel each month. This little hiatus also gives me the time to focus on finishing my holistic nutrition degree and creating beautiful programs to help each of you, and let's face it myself. As Gabby Bernstein has said, we teach what we most need to learn.

We moved in with my parents. I hate to admit this, but it's a pretty smart decision. We save a ton on rent and bills (our internet alone in the country was absurd). We have help with our two crazy dogs. Split responsibilities. Shorter commute - I'm talking 35-50 minute shorter commute. Having the ability to save. Closer to my doctors (whom I still haven't seen a specialist). And F had been working here for months, leaving me all alone. It means I get to start and end each day with him. Huge bonus in my books. This is not a long term solution, but its the right move for now. We have lofty goals and we put an action plan into achieving them.

The dogs are in doggy obedience school. Because well, they are crazy. And somewhat bad. It's taking a lot of time (and money, thanks Mom and Dad) to turn these two wild beasts into good dogs but its going to be oh so worth it.

I am using the FAM or Fertility Awareness Method. My reasoning is two fold. One for natural birth control, because the wedding is in five months (its coming so fast! yay) and because the birth control pill makes me crazy pants. Two, because of all the people who are told they are infertile, approximately 60% of those couples are not conceiving because they don't know their own unique cycles well enough.. Apparently, according to the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility, most couples assume they ovulate on the 14th day of the cycle, like clock work and don't know any of the other fertility signs. But the fact of the matter is, each woman's cycle is different and for women like me with totally irregular cycles it can be hard to determine the right time. So F and I wanted to know if a) I actually ovulate and b) when the heck it happens. Makes sense, right? I'll be doing a whole post about FAM soon - because it's not as complicated as we think it is (it was at first, until I deciphered it all).

I've added in intuitive movement. This typically looks like a walk through the dog park, walking the dogs (if you have met my 11 month old puppy you would know this is a workout in itself), light yoga, and I'm signing myself up for Shrink Sessions with Erin Stutland.

A daily self care + meditation practice. I like to start my days with a few holistic practices like tongue scraping, oil pulling (a few times a week), a meditation, some gratitude and some fluids to start the day. The most important thing I can say about a morning routine is to make it easy and something YOU love. I also highly suggest scheduling it into your calendar, because what gets scheduled, gets done.

And finally, I'm revisiting the Desire Map and completely mapping out how I want to feel for the next 6 months, 1 year and 5 years. F and I have huge, beautiful goals. And I want to know exactly how I want to feel. I know my core desired feeling is EASE. Life goes by so fast, and I am sick of glorifying busy. So I want to approach everything with ease.

So I'm embracing the changes, and the seasonal shifts ... more to come on that later.

Xo, J