A few days ago, I made the conscious decision to intentionally cleanse my space. I focused on my closet. Removing everything, and starting over. I released a whole garbage bag of clothing.
For a lot of women, our closets are a space that we share with a partner and where we start making some compromises. Hear me out. My entire closet was split into two - his side and my side. I'm not quite entirely sure HOW there was enough room for both of us, but there was. I still remember the day we decided he should pick up the rest of his things (this was before I knew why he left), and sitting there staring at the closet preparing myself to pack up his things. I had a vodka tonic, played super sad music, cried and packed his stuff into boxes that I literally labeled for him (and bought). I went above and beyond even at the end. And once all of his clothes were out, I literally stood there in the closet balling my eyes out while on the phone with my bestie H, and it felt so empty.
Flash forward to this week, when I took everything out again but for an extremely different purpose - making it my own. If you know me, you will know I get emotionally attached to things. In particular, clothing. So getting rid of an item of clothing is extremely emotionally charged for me. When I pick up a piece of clothing, I remember what I bought it for, where I wore it, who bought it, etc.
It took me a few weeks to take over that space. Not even joking. And when I did, I put the clothes back in haphazardly and just made everything fit. I wasn't ready to get rid of more things. I felt like I had already let go of a man, a marriage and all his stuff, I wasn't ready to let go of mine. But it wasn't serving me, it was a pain to put away clothes, and as I was buying better quality pieces and getting my shoes back, I realized it was time to make the space functional and beautiful.
So here are my tips to organizing a space, and creating a beautiful and inspiring place for yourself:
1. Take everything out. EVERYTHING. I want that closet empty AF babe. This is important because it allows you to see how much shit you really have, and how much space you have. I also suggest doing this on a day you are doing laundry and pretty much all of your clothing will be clean and ready to go away.
2. Go through each item. Here are your questions: does this fit? is it damaged? do I love it? do I feel sexy and empowered in it? have I worn it in the last 6 months? is it a piece for specific functions or something that I will need to buy again? Answer honestly, if it's damaged, too big, too small, you are on the fence, or you don't remember the last time you wore it - DONATE IT or throw it out.
3. Once you have gone through everything, do not put it all back yet. I want you to get a little woo woo here, and smudge the fuck out of the space. I used sage and palo santo for this. Make sure you get the smoke in all of the corners. Bonus points if you do this while dancing and singing your fave music.
4. Organize. My suggestion is organizing by both colour (aesthetically pleasing), and by type of clothing. So I went with: tanks, tees, long sleeves, cardigans, sweaters, dresses. You get the idea. All in the same colour family. I like to go white, beige, grey, black and then ROYGBIV (if you didn't pay attention in middle school this means red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet). You can play around with this order a bit, and add sections based on what colours you have, but this is what I like the look of best.
5. When all of your clothes are back in, smudge again. OR spray the clothes with a homemade linen spray made with pure essential oils. Or do both.
6. Make it beautiful. I made a point of displaying my shoes, and adding some artwork (which is going to become my vision board). You can also display jewelry, hats, scarves, etc - whatever you love. For me its shoes.
These steps can be used for pretty much ANY space you have. I tend to take one area at a time, and really deep clean it out now. So I've done my entire bedroom at this point. I have dedicated areas for most things: closet, office, meditation or exercise, entertainment, and my bathroom. I've made it extremely feminine - while not being overtly girly. I personally love a lot of natural tones. So I have my faux wood wall that my ex-husband installed, the walls are painted a neutral beige, I have a neutral waterfront photograph on the one wall, industrial wall sconces, all white furniture, and wood shelving he also built and installed with industrial pipes around the room.
I really like the mix between nature, industrial and ultra femme with little things like candles, crystals and throw pillows. I also have a ton of plants, my fave necklaces on display, and books out. If a man was in this space, I don't particularly believe he would feel out of place at all, but you can absolutely tell a woman lives here.
It usually also smells of candles (pumpkin or vanilla baby), or some mixture of essential oils in the diffuser. I really love coming home and it smelling delicious, cozy or calming.
To me, all of these little things add up to one big thing: an energetic vibe. This is what I am always looking to accomplish. An extremely positive vibe. I love my space to be functional, clean and beautiful. However, I also want it to be feminine, cozy, and allow me to feel sexy and erotic at the same time. So its the little touches that do that for me.
Ultimately every item in your space should mean something and make you feel oh so good. Trust me - it makes a huge difference. So take the time to make it your own babe.